Single Dilemma: Risky Behavior

One thing about being single for so long is every time you meet someone new it is a challenge because it is very unfamiliar. You start asking yourself and friends a lot of questions and proposing a lot of ‘what if’s’ relying on your past experiences to evaluate your present. Am I talking to him because he is there and sweet enough or do I genuinely like him? Am I looking past red flags that once would have been so apparent to me just to keep him around? Is he going to be like my past and is he going to hurt me? Should I take the risk and let him in? Questions like these from the conversations I've been having get us so overwhelmed. Women tend to over think things a lot but when it comes to the matter of putting our hearts out there, these questions and reservations need to be addressed. The only thing is we spend so much time going over our past experiences and what we don’t want to happen again that we lose sight of what we want for our future because we are stuck in the past. Fear is definitely a big time player in this single life. As I am meeting guys I am getting easily flustered because I forgot how to do this... I forgot how to get to know and develop a romantic relationship with a man. I have to get used to this unfamiliar, unknown feeling and put my fears aside. I have to get comfortable in having conversations and letting a man know all parts of me. Opening up to this magnitude is hard for any woman, especially one with trust issues and/or a woman who has been hurt in the past. It makes us vulnerable and that is scary.

I feel like all my conversations have turned into talks of relationships and everyone who is single is in limbo, unsure of the next step to take. Since I am in this phase myself I am stuck at this midpoint with all of my other singles. But a’ man of potential’ told me something that has stuck with me. He said; life is full of risks, every time you wake up, walk across the street, get into your car you are taking a risk…everything is a risk so why not take a risk on me? I legitimately had no answer for him but deep down I understood where he was coming from. I know opening up is always the hard part and it is easier said than done, but if you don’t take the risk you will never know what could have been. I know the majority of my friends don’t want to look down the road and question their decisions or what if they had chosen otherwise. So I challenge all my single friends to engage in a little risky behavior this week. Whether it is with a guy or some other aspect in your life. Let’s get comfortable taking risks so when another relationship comes our way we will not be so reluctant to take that chance. Let the risk taking begin.